Precision of Language

Years ago I read a great blog post that I have never been able to find again. The main idea of it was that no one knows what you mean. No matter how clearly you say something, there is always the chance that the person listening will just not get it. If you finally do get your point across they'll hit you with the classic "well why didn't you say so in the first place?!". This fabled blog post had some wonderful examples in the realm of corporate america, man I wish I could find it.

Anyways, I have found this idea to be true. Communication is hard, especially for a nerd like myself.

So what do we do? Should we give up all forms of communication and retreat to a mute solitary life in the woods?! Well ... maybe. The only other alternative is to become more precise with language. To be clear I don't mean more eloquent, or even necessarily just expanding your vocabulary. I mean using the "correct" words. Let me give an example to help explain.

Here in the midwest, and probably in other places, we use "I feel" in at least 3 different ways.

  1. To describe a feeling or emotion. "I feel sad and hungry."
  2. To talk about something you believe. "I feel like its going to rain today."
  3. To say something you think. "I feel like the answer to the question is 42."

Just use the more precise word! Use "feel" when you feel, "think" when you're thinking, and "believe" when you have belief! Using the same word "feel" in so many different ways can only weaken your ability to get a point across. It weakens the meaning of the word.

Now someone may say I'm just nitpicking vocal crutches. Words change meaning all the time, and English is a hodgepodge of different languages anyway so who cares?

My response to that would be to say that I believe meanings drift because people are imprecise with them. Words changing meanings is not an inherently good thing. They're the best thing we got to have any sort of relationship with other human beings. To quote the Fat Controller from Thomas the Tank Engine, definition drift causes "confusion and delay" both in our relationships and our own thoughts.

Some more examples may help bring out the deeper dangers here.

Feel vs Need

Another common imprecision in my own life is saying "I need" when I really mean "I want". Stuff like "I need a bowl of ice cream", or "I need that thing I just saw on TV". What's so bad about this little mix up is that it tricks you into truly believing you need something when you really just want it. This move from "want" to "need" has been the root of so many temptations in my own life, they lurk in ambiguity and I don't believe I'm that unique. The words I tell myself matter.

There's probably a whole chapter in C.S Lewis's "Screwtape Letters" about this...

God Told Me

One last example came up in a conversation I was having with my dad. We were talking about pastors in church using the phrase "God told me". He was always uncomfortable when someone on stage used it because it could mean so many different things. Did the speaker even know what they really meant? He did some research and came up with six different ways "God told me" could be interpreted in an orthodox way.

  1. They actually heard God’s voice, audibly or in their mind 1 Samuel 3:1-10.
  2. They discerned something God wanted them to understand Hebrews 5:14.
  3. They were prompted or led by God to do something Romans 8:14.
  4. They felt convicted by God to stop doing something John 16:7-9.
  5. They learned something from God about how to live as a Christian 2 Timothy 3:16-17.
  6. They received a call, a mission from God, to do something specific for Him Romans 11:29.

All but the first point are what my dad and I would consider "not alarming". But number 1 is pretty extreme.. Someone claiming to audibly hear God's voice is either a capital P Prophet or a liar! The phrases I use with others matter.

The great irony here is that you may have made it to the end of my ramblings and have no idea what I'm talking about. I don't consider myself a great communicator, though my wife says I'm pretty good at explaining board games! I've been trying to correct myself with words like "need", "want", "feel", and "think". It's a start

And you gotta start somewhere!